Thursday, June 9, 2011

gardens;

It's been a strange day. I had nice plans for the daylight and photos but I got really sad about my mom at some point before leaving; alot of people tell me I shouldnt go out and do things when I get really upset about her but I think I'd rather spend the day outside around nature when I think of her than I would sit in a dark room. Still, I think these photos came out sad, I was too lazy to manually focus many of them & I couldnt look up at the camera much & finally just stopped and sat on the walkway and watched joggers. I've been afraid of changing because I built my life around you. I collected alot of flowers and pressed them in the pages of Oscar Wilde. I wish we could keep moments that way & revisit them anytime we wished.

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2 comments:

  1. I totally connected with this post.

    My Dad died this Mother's Day. He was originally from Mobile, AL. All the Stoker side of my family are still living there.

    We buried him in South Texas though, where we made a life for himself, and not Mobile, after all. But I am in Houston and don't get the chance to visit the grave as often as I'd like to (even though it has only been a month since he passed) and I am just now starting to feel the loss.

    Instead of the numbness you feel when it first happens.

    I really get what you mean about 'building' a life around someone. He battled cancer for 11 years and I put my entire life on hold worrying and taking care of that situation as much as I could. Now I am 26.

    And trying to speed up the years of being a teenager and early-20 something so I can be an adult somehow....

    I really feel you on that one.

    So...I don't know. Your post just touched me is all. The sadness in the photos. The emotion you put into your writing.

    I'm sorry about your Mom, Jess :(


    You still continue to inspire me as always. I've followed your blog for a super long time form livejournal days, so your crafts and daily look into your life has always trrrrrrrrrruly motivated me to just do what I'm kind of good at, and just stick to it.

    Thank you for being an awesome person.

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